The art of job ads

“You have to be strong attention to details and tipography and passionate about online design.”

Part of a freelancer’s life consists in inspecting any online job ad that comes by, which can, at times, be quite entertaining. You can always tell, to illustrate the example above, if they have been written by someone in HR who has no clue as to whether their ad sounds credible or not. You feel that writing this must have been like a mini-project: they went around and asked all the “stakeholders” and made a “list of requirements” and end up having to write something that sounds completely unrealistic.

Most of the ones I stumble upon go a little something like this (this is a mashup of several different ads I’ve seen recently, any resemblance to a single one is an accident) :

“_______ is an award-winning digital agency located in the heart of __________. We are looking for a passionate ___________ designer to help us in a rapidly-expanding team. The successful candidate will have plenty of opportunity to work on high profile projects with big consumer brands. ________is a place where all projects are multidisciplinary and each problem has a finite solution. You should be organized, self-motivated, and able to make deadlines and manage multiple projects without breaking a sweat. This position presents a unique opportunity to work in a diverse and gifted creative environment that rewards knowledge, teamwork and ambition.

Skills Required:
– Brilliant design sensibility (color, form, typography & layout)
– Cultural insight and awareness of current pop & lifestyle design trends.
– Proficient in Flash and strong Web design experience
– Proficient in Photoshop and Illustrator
– Proven oral/written communication skills, client interaction, project management skills
– An ability to take initiative and adhere to project guidelines

Skills Preferred (but not mandatory):
– Knowledge of HTML, XHTML, and CSS (web standards)
– Knowledge of AJAX (Javascript)
– Sound Editing
– Animation (Flash, After Effects)
– Familiarity with eCommerce systems
– Familiarity with MySQL
– Moderate to advanced PHP, XML, ASP, .NET
– Brand/Identity design and illustration”

In these bubble-like times I read that it’s difficult for companies to keep their employees, isn’t it obvious why? If you’re hiring under such hypocritical and demanding conditions, no wonder you don’t live up to the employee’s expectations! In a way telling the truth might be a better policy but I’m guessing it would sound something like this:

“__________ is a struggling average group of designers located in the outskirts of ______(we like to use design agency because everyone else is) but we’re only 6 people, and we really need someone to fill in the blanks, do a bunch of different jobs as the work goes by. You might be clocking 80 hours one week and twiddling your thumbs the other, sorry, that’s how things go here. We expect you to roll with things, be great at doing mentally-empty production work for weeks if need be, because we can’t pay interns to do that and the ones we get for free aren’t reliable enough. We can’t retain our clients because the competition is really fierce, so we’re sticking to the few stable huge corporate clients we have, knowing full well our competitors are working with them as well (but not on the same project) . You’ll be paid about a 10th of what we’ll bill the client for your work. That again, is how things go. We do have a kick-ass pool table though! And we hope you live nearby because otherwise you’ll be spending 3 hours a day commuting to get to the office. Do send us an online portfolio so we can compare you with the others we have and bitch tremendously before you never hear from us again”

In a way looking for a job is like a first date, you and them will present themselves under the best light possible, hoping that the honeymoon will last as long as possible, but both totally blinded by love or desperation in the first meetings :)

And yes I hope to remain employable even after posts like these :)