6 Things to remember once you move to London

1. London doesn’t want you here, which is why the weather is always shit. It’s your job to carry an umbrella at ALL TIMES. Even on those sunny-looking days. It’s a trick, don’t lt it get you.

2. Always remember to comment on how shit the weather is, it’ll make you agreeable to the locals.

3. If you’re Canadian, when accused of being American, enjoy those few moments of embarrassment the person will go through, while finding a reason they really loooove Canada and have been skiing there once.

4. London still doesn’t want you here, which is why it’ll try driving you off the sidewalk by put half of its inhabitants in your way on Oxford Street. You need to develop an equally agressive and fast pace and directional skills usually required for video games.

5. Alcohol is social glue here. If you don’t want to become a functional alcoholic, and antisocial, make sure to pay for the next round, but leave enough in your glass to not end up drinking at everyone’s pace. (Remember, glasses are larger here as well so when they serve you a “large glass” of wine, that’s actually a quarter of a bottle.)

6. You are here  because you WANT to be here, not because the quality of life is high, believe me it isn’t .

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